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Past Events
Three Oaks Academy 2009 Graduation
Shepherd Drive Fellowship Church
600 Shepherd Drive Houston 77007
June 6th, 2009 at 5:00PM
No longer ignored and no longer hidden behind the pained hearts of parent, spouse , and friend is a ministry and resource of healing for the culturally profound disease of chemical dependency and addiction. Thank you for hosting this ministry within you walls and within your sharing, caring hearts. Lives are being saved and family units are being restored. Celebrate "our graduation" into life as we grow wiser together in faith and in full hopefulness of recovery.
When this year's Senior Class of recovering young people grasp their parchment and fly their mortar boards into the air on June 6th, it will be in a triumph of huge proportion. These young people have been fighting to get an education. They lace up their gloves and enter the ring for the not easily earned title of, "Graduate." They stay inside the ropes and on their feet as they heal from a chemically broken brain, a real disease. They develop a determined strength in character as they hit the books. With the ringside support of involved parents and sobriety experienced teachers, staff, and friends, these students persevere and sort out personal issues while learning facts and figures. Obtaining an education in a cultural arena where adolescents are pressured to fit in is truly a fight for our present generation. Obliged to party hearty and bombarded with a daily offering of mind-changing chemicals in and around the typical high school campus are truly knock-out punches.
Eighteen recovering young people awakened (graduated) from the Lifeway program on April 14th and another group of recovering young people are readying their caps and gowns for graduation from Lifeway's Three Oaks Academy on the 6th of June. Graduation is most notably, as in the word's Latin beginnings, a step. To graduate is to change gradually, to pass from one stage of experience to the next, to move up. To the graduating young people.....You stepped into a surround of support, you have studied the 12-steps, and you have taken giant steps through recovery with alternative peer group "real" friends by your side. As you step up to receive your key chain or your diploma, it is only the beginning of the many courageous steps you will take to look within as you step without. You have acquired new knowledge, gathered new tools, and gained insight and wisdom. Some say the day of graduation is a new beginning but I too experienced it as so much more. It is a celebration in the present moment, wiser for our past that now transforms our character for the God-given purpose of our future. Way to go!
Yours in recovery,
The Staff of Lifeway
The Awakening of 18 young people and their parents on Tuesday evening, April 14th, 2009, was a reflection of gained wisdom, of new understandings, of experience shared, and of discernment - intuitions revealed through a surround of support and through the insight of soul. More than 250 young people, staff, parents, families, and friends gathered in joyous celebration of the awakening young people and listened attentively to each one's journey of illumination and sobriety.
The Awakening is held in the commemoration of a life-transforming sobriety milestone for families along their road to recovery. Families "awaken" - similar to a graduation of sorts - when certain criteria of the program are met. Candidates have to be approved for awakening by sponsors, employers, teachers and parents and own a minimum of one year to 18 months of sobriety. Each candidate must have a working knowledge of all 12 steps and completed step work, including a personal inventory and be an active member of an appropriate non-staffed support group such as AA, NA or a church related group. It is important also that the young person has dealt with any personal issues with the aid of sponsors and facilitators. The young person should be gainfully employed or going to school (or both). In order to awaken, the young person must exhibit a working and respectful relationship with parents and family.
Stories were shared; recollections of good times with real friends, entertaining times of sober fun and retelling the past - of dark paths and places. Tears were shed by young and old; tears in an expression by a mother of the fear once felt, by a father in the pride of the mountains climbed by their child and family, and by young people who now know how much they are loved.
New feelings
Parents who journey through the Lifeway program of recovery have the ability to name and share their feelings, from the feeling of fear, worry, anxiety, tears, distress, and hopelessness to smiles, laughter, relief, tears of joy, happiness, and hopefulness. Some moms shared some of their feelings before the ceremony commenced. Deb was anticipating another milestone that her son and family were about to reach in the recovery process, reiterating that it is, "Indeed a process, not over, but a new beginning step of life." "Grateful," said Lydia, as her eyes sparkled with a mist of tears. "I'm feeling nervous and just feeling grateful and lucky that I am here." Peggy emphatically exclaimed, "I am excited. I am grateful my kids are alive and clean and sober." Janet was pleased to move forward but to, "keep my faith, keep praying, and keep working with my son to survive and succeed."
Dads too were excited, Bob prideful in his son's accomplishments, "Sober 22 months and 2 days today. Lifeway provided the tools, and my son made it happen." Joe thoughtfully expressed that he was, "Peaceful, natural - think we are ready to awaken - not end of the road, but a milestone." Roger, well, Roger expressed succinctly what all parents have probably felt at their young person's awakening ........."Finally!"
Changed lives
Things changed for the young people and families, their lives changed. They grew individually and as a family unit. "Sanity, we now have it!" Tom exclaimed. "Tolerant, I am more tolerant. The path is easier for everybody." Mary was awed by the change in her son, "Lackluster and barely existing to full of life, a 180 degrees difference. He learned what was bad about him and what was good about him in a journey of self-discovery......and still is learning." Janet saw the change, "He became a person, from a monster to a person. And I missed him. And now he's back." Mike stared off as if he was watching a scene on a movie screen, "My relationship with my son changed a lot. Both of our attitudes changed. We are closer as a family - functioning, getting along, and not worrying - trust is in our lives." Roger again, man of few but exacting words articulated, "Wow - from darkness to light!"
A plan that works
The hand and the key of Lifeway's logo are the source of healing found in the program. As the keys of recovery are handed from one to another through 12 step meetings, therapeutic settings, group and individual support, sponsors, friends and fun, and service activities, an effective plan of recovery unfolds. "What makes it work?" was asked of our parents before the evening began. Tom did not hesitate when he announced, "Friends, the group, grounded us. They validated our feelings - fears, apprehensions, hope, and all that stuff. We didn't feel alone. It was the way God worked through all the people. We came to a deeper understanding of the whole disease process. We received guidance, love, peace and sanity. We were able to establish hope and trust once again in our son."
"The 12 step support groups and sponsors were what made it work," Lydia called to mind. "It was also the honesty of parents and facilitators of Lifeway, hard truths for us to see things. Our son's peer recovery group, there were miracles." Deb was certain, "The alternative peer group is key, and sober fun." Joe explained that his son's head clearing up was a, "Slow physiological process and life coaching via the facilitators helped his son when he was not thinking straight."
Mike talked about what worked for his family, "For my son, going to meetings with the facilitator, and individual sessions, working through garbage that built up in his life, baggage. What worked for me, it taught me to back off and let my son run his own program and I work my own program. What worked for us all was the establishment of 'Boundaries and Consequences' restoring respect."
The insights
Profound in the recovery journey are tools, knowledge, support, caring, fun and recovery. Every person has a story to tell of their journey and their discoveries along the way. Joe now understood, "Lifeway's ten thousand case experience is a huge resource for a parent that is only going through their first one. My son was sent away to be in a sober environment. He needed support when bringing him back. Lifeway and its entire staff are phenomenal; they told us what was going to happen with real world experience. When our son relapsed, they told me the behavior to be expected associated with that, they could tell me......a tough customer." Janet discovered, "God never let go of any of us."
This New Years Eve allowed a new dimension of celebration for over a hundred young people and parents, ringing in the New Year with new traditions in a hopeful future.
The elements of commemoration of a New Year are often experienced as good food, music, dancing, party decorations and the camaraderie of friends and family old and new. The expectations of the grand, resetting goals for prosperity, and the anticipated achievement of all sorts of “good stuff” merge with the merriment and joy.
But let us part from this appealing portrait for a few moments and re-examine the eves of quite a different time as recounted by a young veteran of Lifeway’s recovery program. He recalled the times of New Years Eve as a time to get loaded, to succumb to peer and culture pressure to drink until drunk and just do something that was “over the top.” He had no other desires nor did he recognize that his only resolution was to get more intoxicated than he ever did before and score higher than he ever did before in hopes of achieving...........what? What did he care? Bah-boom.
This New Year’s Eve, however, was among the eves that Joel could remember. This evening Joel held a glass so full not of bad dreams and empty goals but of the spirit of a purposeful life. The toast this evening was to uncountable friends and immeasurable love and living his life with a dynamism to not only accomplish his own dreams but to also help others reconstruct their own.
The evening began with a Speaker’s Meeting, with the benches of a meeting room supporting the young people and families in their new right of possessing sobriety and deepening its hope.
Enormous fun and games filled the evening, alternating gaming events with step meetings for the young people (and also for the parents). Josh’s younger sibling of 9 won the dance contest, being the smiles and entertainment for the midnighters. Cindy (a parent) serenaded the group in song. Guitar Hero, ping-pong and pool tournament competition intensified appetites for the millions of snacks that lined tables from end to end (and around the corner some). The drink of the evening, referred to as “The Potion” and “diabetes in a cup” was made by the kids with orange sherbet and orange soda and oranges and more orange.
Midnight New Years Eve at Times Square could not have been any more celebratory than was this gathering of sober acquaintances. A grand time was owned by all and all without the use of mind-changing chemicals. This new sober style...........well, it is just way over the top.
Click Here to download the "Over the Top Flyer"
This year's Hope Meeting was hosted in Wesley Hall by Houston's Memorial Drive United Methodist Church. The Hope Meeting is one of Lifeway's most extraordinary and wonderful events held each December.
The Hope Meeting is an exceptional experience, when all of the young people of recovery join with parents and other family members in a time of reflection and in a time of sharing forward expectations and wishes. All share in personal narrations of insights and hope gained through individual pathways of recovery.
An older brother of one of the young people attended the meeting with his parents and chose to speak in a turn. He stated that he had quite different expectations for the evening; "to witness some freaks who had been getting high" but now was taken aback in awe. He had a most appropriate and concise recognition of what he heard and observed; he said that if he used drugs (which he did not) he would imagine that the "high" he would feel would not be as profound as what he felt just being in the room and listening to all the affirmations of hope, faith, and love. Showing great pride in his younger brother, the young man proclaimed his own hopefulness in his brother's recovery progress. He also stated that he knew the certainty of what the alternative would have been had his parents not gotten help...."jail or death." This brother went on to explain that what he came to realize by just attending one meeting was to understand his parents choices for putting his brother in the Lifeway program. What his parents tried to explain, this older sibling now deeply and meaningfully understood.
Many definitions of hope were described. One young person expressed that it was all about forgiveness and about "learning how to cope with life and stuff." Another young person was only 13 days sober but spoke up in hope, describing it as a power." He wanted to always keep this thing called hope and carry it with him through recovery.
One parent said they came into the program without any hope, but she soon gained hope from the Lifeway staff and from the other parents. This parent also proudly stated that their son was now six months sober. Another parent had a similar start, disappointed by their son's choices. But now they are making new and happy memories again. They have learned new tools so that when there is another "dark corner" they will be better equipped to handle it. Another parent learned that having hope was learning to trust, to let go of trying to control something that she did not have the knowledge to do, like fixing her son. It scared her to let go and let others in to help. This mother expressed her new hope in her son with two full years of recovery. A few other parents followed in a similar witness to their own determination to analyze and control their young person (with little or no success). Through Lifeway, they found hope in their new skills of supporting their child in a recovery program. One mother described how she experienced hopelessness and fear, "A lot of fear in dealing with this issue." She has new hope as she feels she now has the help she needs inside the program's support system.
One young person described her hopelessness and realized that state of being "just sucked." She was told the story about the row boat, rescue boat and helicopter all trying to get a flood victim to hold on to a rope so the person would not drown. "But you have to grab the rope!" This young person relapsed, but was hopeful in her new beginning....eight weeks sober. She said that she was starting to have fun again with her family this Christmas. "Just riding in the mini-van doing family stuff with my brother and sister is good. It is about forgetting the bad and realizing the good. It is being in a place where people don't judge me. I never knew such hope could be found in going to 'Coffee,' the fun time with real friends after a meeting."
Click Here to download the "Hope Lifeway 2008 Meeting Flyer"
When you hear the words "haunted house", do you run to it or away from it? I personally don't like being scared as I think daily news, politics, and being a parent are scary enough! I do love social gatherings, especially with people who enjoy being sober, so I ventured out, this past Oct 31st, with my teen son and other Lifeway members to The Sugarland's Group haunted house! It seemed to me that some people were there for the thrill of the unknown, while others were just curious to see if the place would really scare them. Whatever your reason might have been to visit the Lifeway Haunted House, I know if you were there you weren't disappointed.
 The Sugarland group did a great job of creating a creepy place. The Lifeway haunted house was put together with an extensive wall and floor covering of black plastic sheeting for every hall and room. In addition to the typical skeletons, eerie wooden coffins and dimly lit rooms some of the creators of the haunted house let their imaginations run wild. There was a blood stained guillotine upon your entrance that hinted gore is just around the corner. One dad told me, "The rooms were constructed around familiar psychological fears." Keep in mind I couldn't get myself to go in, so I asked for an example and he gave a vivid description: "One room had a mattress soaked in what looked like blood, with the remainder of a leg and a (fake) bloody foot upon it. Then to add to the mental stress, one encountered in the adjoining room a blood stained guy sitting on a sofa blankly staring at a TV screen of wh ite fuzz." He concluded, "It was very much like a Hitchcock film!" I asked one of the teen Lifeway members if he felt scared going through the house and he said, "Only when I was in the fog room and I couldn't see three feet in front of me, then a tall guy suddenly appeared before me. I don't know where he came from! That freaked me out!" Other favorite thrills were "Mr. Pin Head" which was a person wearing a full scalp, face and neck of nails stuck into a white rubber mask. His T shirt said "Shift Faced", for a more thought-provoking impression!
It was easy to see this Halloween night how much the parents of teens in recovery needed to play too. Many of us, including me, wore masks, wigs or entire costumes to get in the spirit of night. We are a group who might cry hard at Lifeway meetings, but we also laugh the most at Lifeway hangouts! I believe this emotional freedom is all part of the healing process and that's what makes Lifeway work so well. Take a look at our photos. Many of those in costumes were the adults! We were dressed in styles from Sarah Palin to Keith Richards and disguises that ranged from a wrinkled bag lady to a KISS rock star!
In closing, I want to mention that on our haunted house night, a young adult who recently and abruptly decided to leave Lifeway showed up at this public gathering. Two weeks earlier he told his parents he didn't need Lifeway anymore, yet, there he was! He happily hung out with us and it was so good to see him. This told me that even when a teen in recovery thinks they are finished and that they don't need Lifeway anymore, something lures them back - even if it's just for a fun evening - they come back and that alone says much more than I can tell you about the success of the Halloween haunted house and the power of this life saving organization!
Click Here to download the "The Mysterious Lure of a Haunted House Flyer"
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